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Diaries / Captain Calico Jack’s Log

Fiction. Legends, reports and most of the crew are invented. The ship and the shanty are real.

A prisoner tries to bring a talking smartwatch aboard Calico Jack’s galleon, and the captain finds he agrees with the management about something. Pirates log.

The Galleon · Captain’s LogLeaf 284
Date
9 July 2027
Wind
Fair
Treasure

The Locker Rebellion

Friday. Caught a prisoner trying to come aboard wearing a watch that talked. It told him how many steps he had taken. He had taken eleven. I could have told him that.

The management made him put it in a locker with his telephone and his camera, and I have never loved the management more. No clocks on my ship but the dawn. No little screens glowing in my hold. No pictures of my quarters turning up in places I would not approve of.

The lockers are free, which I consider a mistake. I would have charged.

They also turned away a gentleman who had clearly come from a long lunch with a great deal of grog in it. Nobody boards drunk, they said. I said that rules out my entire crew. They said my crew is asleep in the story and does not count.

Scarface held the locker key for the watch man and gave it back with a wink. He winks at prisoners a lot. I think it is the scar. It pulls.

— Captain Calico Jack, Terror of the Seas (all of them)