Amateurs Talking Like Pirates

Tuesday. Some landlubber has declared today Talk Like a Pirate Day. Nobody consulted me. I talk like a pirate every day of the year and I have never had so much as a biscuit for it.

Every crew dragged below deck tonight was in costume. Eye patches. Tricorn hats. A small boy dressed as Captain Hook who told me, to my face, that my hook was too small. I do not have a hook. That is rather the point of me.

And the voices. Arr this, shiver me that, a grandmother who called me a scurvy dog with real feeling. The gamesmasters gave them bonus points for it. Bonus points! For impersonating me, aboard my own galleon!

I will admit the footwear was sensible. Boots, every one of them, toes covered. If you mean to rob a pirate, you should not do it in sandals.

Scarface spent the evening teaching a family of six how to say arr properly. I asked him why. He said it was for the look of the ship. Good man. Loyal man.