Orders for a Holiday Shanty

Friday. Christmas Eve, and the ship is full of prisoners who will not stop escaping. I have decided to treat myself.

I shall have a house. Not a cabin, a house: a shanty on a beach on an island nobody can find, with a hammock, a barred window and a great many places to put gold. A captain who keeps all his treasure on one ship is a captain who has not been paying attention.

I have put Scarface in charge of the building. He is the most frightening man in my crew. One look at that face and a prisoner forgets their own name. He has never once let me down, unless you count every single night.

He asked whether the shanty should have a back door. I said certainly not. He asked whether it should have lots of interesting little cupboards. I said a captain cannot have too many cupboards. He wrote it all down with a look on his face I can only describe as thoughtful.

Duchess, my parrot, has eaten the Christmas biscuits and blamed the cook. The season of goodwill has begun.